better warrior.

[devilslayer]

First topic message reminder :

Chuck norris or darth vader

[agentaaa]

A duck vs. a guy who's drank 6 beers.
The duck is larger than average, and the place they're fighting is near a lake.

[Nut_Column]

Well, The guy would fall over, most likely into the lake, while the duck hit him with his beak.


Duck wins.

[agentaaa]

duck vs. Canadian geese

[Nut_Column]

Canadian Geese are the Gangsters of the Migrating Bird Scene. They would totally annihilate that poor duck, and then they would steal it's money and use it to buy Guns to Rob a Convenience store, while playing Loud Obnoxious Music the whole time.

[agentaaa]

A football player versus a tiny guy with a small knife.

[Nut_Column]

Well, what position is this football player in? Kicker? Quarterback? Left tackle?

[agentaaa]

uhhh... Let's say blockingback.

[Nut_Column]

:/ Then the football player charges, gets stabbed, falls on top of the other guy, and dies. The other guy, trapped underneath so much weight, also dies. Nobody wins! Or, I guess the football player died first so... Small guy wins?

[agentaaa]

well, to be fair, a wound from a knife stab kills someone quite slowly, while the guy getting crushed would die much quicker, so give it to the football player.

[Nut_Column]

Alright, Football player wins because he's rich!

[agentaaa]

A house cat versus a small pack of rats, in a dark forest, and the two having to find each other's positions.

[Nut_Column]

Cat wins.

[agentaaa]

...explain your logic, so that we can understand how you made that decision.

[Nut_Column]

*sigh* I thought it was painfully obvious. The cat is practically Bred to hunt rats, which, being quite smelly, the rats that is, are easy to track. They also don't have much for offense, other than their knack for carrying diseases, but those wouldn't kill the cat for a while, if at all. Their only real strength would be their speed at running away, in which case I would count it as a win for the cat. If it was a large enough pack then they might be able to overwhelm the cat and simply crush it under their weight, but then we might as well give it to ants or something. Speaking of which...

Anteater vs Giant Ant.

[agentaaa]

anteater's proboscis only works on ants of a certain size. if it's too large for their tongue, they got nothing.
Giant ant.

[Nut_Column]

What if this Ant was made up of smaller ants?

[agentaaa]

Anteater. anteater all the way.
it's only got one job: eating small ants. it better [censored] well be good at it.

[Nut_Column]

Excellent...

[agentaaa]

A plate of beef stroganoff, against a can of spam, both of which have become animate due to a wizard's spell, and are fighting on the kitchen floor.

[Nut_Column]

Spam has the benefit of being Malleable, and nobody wants to eat it. (I don't know why, I like SPAM) That said, Beef Stroganoff has a stronger Flavour as far as I know. Is the Can of Spam Open?

[agentaaa]

(another person who enjoys eating spam. Excellent. I especially like how it's greasy enough I can just put it on the pan and not worry about it sticking.)
The can of spam is not, in fact, open, but the "Key" is still attached to the can in plain sight.

[Nut_Column]

Well, the can can't really open itself can it. That said, it would have much more resilience that way. I would give it to SPAM.

[devilslayer]

3 raptors vs 4 wolves

[agentaaa]

What kind of raptors? Are we talking tiny velociraptors or the gigantic, JP level of huge Utahraptor?

[Nut_Column]

I say raptors because Jurassic Park Taught me to fear them.

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